Vinny's Jokey Thread

[Streaker]

Hey it's your old buddy Vinny with your Thread forum joke


What did the tomato say to the other tomato after he beat the crap out of him???

That's for having sex with my wife A^%hole

(you thought I was going to make a ketchup joke there)

.... HEY FUGGETABOUDIT!!


You can also post your unfunny or funny (i of course prefer "jokes that isn't even funny") jokes here if I like it maybe I'll read it on the show.

[King of Podcasting]

I forget the beginning, but the end was "I definitely don't want the fuckin' French toast!"
Haha I love that one.

[Ragzdandelion]

What's black & white and has a dirty last name?
Sister Mary Fuck!

[King of Podcasting]

So that's a good start.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

Guy goes to a bar, and get completely wasted...so much so, that he gets sick and vomits all over the front of his shirt.

He staggers over to the bartender and says, "Jeez...my wife'll kill me now, especially since I been out drinkin' so much that I got sick all over myself. What'll I do?"

Bartender tells him, "Lissen, bud...take a 10 dollar bill out of yer wallet and put it in yer front shirt pocket, then tell the old lady that you didn't get sick all over yerself, but instead some other sloppy drunk did, and gave you ten bucks to have yer shirt cleaned."

The drunkard figures, "Hey...that might work..", so he staggers off home, only to come in and find his wife waiting up for him in the kitchen. She's disgusted by what she sees and asks him why he's such a fuck up, etc....until the guy remembers what the bartender told him to do.

He tells his wife, "Honey, it wasn't me....some other sloppy drunk puked all other me and stuck a ten dollar bill in my shirt pocket to get it cleaned...go ahead, reach in there and get it."

She does, and then looks at the money, and says, "Hey...waitaminnit...this is 20 bucks...I thought you said he gave you ten?"

The drunk says, "Oh yeah...I forgot to tell you....he shit in my pants, too."

Hello..?

Hello? Is this thing on?

[Freaky Agent for the Man]

Q: what's brown and sticky?


A: A stick.

hahahaha

Q: what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A: a stick

hahahahaha the laughs just don't stop.
and now for something else...

Q: What does a Mexican say when a double wide collapses on him?

A: GET OFF ME HOLMES!!!

ehhh.. awful...

[Backhand]

A pirate walks in to a bar with a steering wheel stuffed down his pants...
The bartender says "Do you know you've got a steering wheel stuffed down your pants?"
"Argh!" the pirate says
"It's driving me nuts!"

um...
okay...
I know where my family is... Blargh!

[Gore Gore Girl]

I was raised by a father who is notorious for bad jokes, and I love bad jokes as a result - good work everybody!! Here are my humble submissions:

1. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
...
Because he was out standing in his field.

2. Where does Hitler keep his armies?
...
Up his sleevies.

Badump..

[Streaker]

Why don't cannibals eat clowns...

Because they taste funny!

[RockItQeen]

I love that joke!
Dave Pirner tells it at almost every Soul Asylum show ;)



A pirate walks in to a bar with a steering wheel stuffed down his pants...
The bartender says "Do you know you've got a steering wheel stuffed down your pants?"
"Argh!" the pirate says
"It's driving me nuts!"

um...
okay...
I know where my family is... Blargh!