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Although my college dorm didn't drip blood, the guy I shared a bathroom with did. Actually, it trickled, more than it dripped, and it wasn't the right color for blood. The first time I saw the stuff, it looked little more than a puddle of some thin, cream-based soup. A chowder, perhaps a bisque, with little chives in it. When I asked my roommate about it, he said that all he really ...

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Everybody says 'war is hell'. Bullshit! Hell is editing video in Windows!

Trying to explain WEIRDO: THE BEGINNING in a thousand words or so is no easy feat. It's a lot like trying to explain what 'nothing' is to a child who's never heard the word.Q: Daddy, what is nothing?A: It's nothing.Q: But what is it?A: I just told you, it's nothing.Q: What's it look like?A: Um...it doesn't look like anything.Q: It doesn't look like something?A: No, something can look like anything, because anything other than something is just nothing. But nothing just looks like nothing.Q: Where ...

Washed up actors get the best women. Any forgotten Hollywood junkie fuck-up that, in his distant past, had a part in any film or t.v. show that obtained any kind of cultural significance, is currently shacking up with the girl of your dreams. That kid from Home Alone dated Mila Kunis for six years. The white rapper from Beverly Hills 90210, that Brian Houston Greenbaum fellow, was dating Megan Fox when she was barely legal. Eddie Furlong, star of Brainscan, ...

I am writing this in haste, so I apologize if you are underwhelmed. After losing volumes of literary work to a hard drive crash, numerous technical difficulties, followed by weeks of crying while clicking the hammer of my replica Civil War pistol, which doesn’t fire, I am finally back online, expounding my opinions of film. I am doing so based on the assumption that you care what I think. While we’re at it, assume that I care what you think, too.
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Tags: funny, horror, humor, move, review

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