DVD Review: The Hoarder
by, 04-05-2016 at 08:53 AM (618 Views)
Sometimes, ya just gotta chalk some of these movies up into the "why did you even waste your time?" category, and such as the case with Mischa Barton, the former "O.C." darling...between this performance and her footwork on the "Dancing With The Stars" dance-floor...let's just say I don't think her phone will be ringing anytime soon.
Here's the skinny: the film is called The Hoarder, and it was dutifully directed by Matt Winn...and unfortunately, that really is all I can say positively about this movie at this current time. I'm not going to drone on and on about how horrible it was, because BELIEVE ME when I tell you, 2016 has been a lame-duck so far when it's come to the horror genre, and there are far bigger turds than this one. Barton plays Ella, a woman who's got a few trust issues, and after her last bout of misgivings, she decides it would be in her best interest to go snooping around her boyfriend's newly acquired storage unit for possible clues leading to a second relationship. Enlisting the aid of her bff, Molly (Emily Atack), the two perform their best cat burglar routines and break into the storage facility to have a curious sniff around, and that's when the trouble starts.
Along with an interesting collection of different customers that are visiting the storage facility, Ella and Molly find themselves being silently hunted by a creepy looking individual with a mouth crudely stapled shut, but a penchant for stowing his victims away is what keeps him going. As the bodies rack up and are nicely packed away for safe keeping, you'd think that there would be more to offer in this presentation, yet stiff acting (yes, Ms. Barton, I'm speaking to you), lackluster scares, and a less than stellar payoff all add up to unfortunately another dim-bulb exhibition that wouldn't be looked at as criminal for wrapping this one up and stashing it away for a very long time.
DVD special features include: "Making Of The Hoarder"
The film is available TODAY on both DVD and Digital Video format.