SecretAgent/SuperHero

ASSASSIN'S LOG: KILL DATE-00040408C

TODAY'S SECRET CODE: I believe that my talents have touched many people, I know this because I touch myself.

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FILE UNDER - CODED CORRESPONDENCE, CLASSIFIED: SUPER SECRET

MESSAGE TO T.R.I.N.I.T.Y - MESSAGE SENT FROM FREE TERMINAL, I.D./WENDIGO-JUNE.

///Have intercepted the molecular package. Successfully sealed microcapsule in my brain. Microcapsule fixed in place with Cranial Orbiter Matrix. Administered self-surgery in hotel room. Trepanning procedure and attachment of Bilateral Cranial Shelf was troublesome, caused mild headache. Advil acquired and taken with wine cooler.///

MESSAGE TO SASH - SENT FROM STATION TERMINAL, I.D./MU GANGES D.

/TERMINAL HANDSHAKE VERIFIED/

DECODER COMPLIANCE REQUESTED; DECODER COMPLIANCE GRANTED.

/// Excellent work SASH. Assignment Service Sequence: Completed as directed. Request data on wine cooler for file.///

MESSAGE TO T.R.I.N.I.T.Y - MESSAGE SENT FROM FREE TERMINAL; I.D./WENDIGO-JUNE

///Request recieved. DETAIL MANIFEST#0797-0001 - 1 ITEMS:

1) Apple Martini - 1 part Apple Juice(brand unknown, pending investigation). 1 part Vodka(Absolut). 1 part Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps. Dry, but tasty. Increased my general likeability. 9 EUROS.

DATA REQUEST/ADJUNCT: 2 ITEMS:

1) Advil, store bought. 120 GEL CAPS. 5 EUROS with coupon.

2) 1 DVD RENTAL. TITLE: "DON'T TELL MOM, THE BABYSITTER'S DEAD". COST 1 EUROS. Funny, but not for everyone.

Request data on molecule in my brain.///

MESSAGE TO SASH - SENT FROM STATION TERMINAL, I.D./MU GANGES D.

///Request received. DETAIL MANIFEST#0881-0001: 1 ITEMS:

1) Molecular Package is C(14)H(18)N(2)O(6), Legal Name: ASPARTAME-6. CURRENT VALUE IN EUROS: 2500000000000(2.5[in trillions]).

Taste indistinguishable from real cane sugar. 0 calories. Will create fewer fatties among U.S. child population. Will devastate worldwide market value of 1)High Fructose Corn Syrup, 2) Insulin.

Must be kept secret pending 1) U.S. Senate vote on discontinuation of corn crop subsidization 2) introduction of New Pepsi product, "So Berry Cold". First release in a new line of diet fruit flavored sodas. Supposedly refreshing and fun. No intel, as of yet, on which berry the flavor is based. Thinking raspberry, possibly strawberry.///

MESSAGE TO T.R.I.N.I.T.Y - MESSAGE SENT FROM FREE TERMINAL; I.D./WENDIGO-JUNE

///Great. Now I want a strawberry daiquiri, which I cannot acquire while connected to Neural Transmission Shunt. Thanks a lot STATION TERMINAL, I.D./MU GANGES D.

Just kidding STATION TERMINAL, I.D./MU GANGES D.

Will be vacationing in Pittsburgh, Pa for 1 week(s). Hoping overcast weather will fade tan. Also, will be extra in The Dark Knight Rises, currently filming there. Look for me in crowd scene during third act, will be attired in baseball cap bearing PITTSBURGH PIRATES logo, faded concert t-shirt(Metallica - Monsters of Rock Tour)with over-sized foam finger. Hope to meet Anne Hathaway. Love her.///

MESSAGE TO SASH - SENT FROM STATION TERMINAL, I.D./MU GANGES D.

///Can't wait to see it. GO BUCS.///

END OF CORRESPONDENCE