Top 10: Friday the 13th Moments
by, 01-13-2012 at 04:40 PM (2683 Views)
Another Friday the 13th is upon us. Another chance for horror fans to look back and commemorate one of the most iconic slashers in genre history, Jason Vorhees, along with the stand-ins that have filled in for him in a few of the entries. Over the course of 12 movies worth of carnage, there's no shortage of memorable scenes featuring our favorite goalie. In celebration, I figured I'd go through and rank my favorite moments through the series.
Be warned that I'm not going to hold back from spoilers from any of the films, so if you haven't seen them yet, beware.
10. Jason Visits Times Square - Jason Takes Manhattan
I've been obsessed with New York since I was a small child, so when this came out, the promise of Jason tearing up the Big Apple was amazing. Turns out you had to wait a fucking hour tooting around a goddamn boat for over an hour before he even reached the joint. But the small snippets we do get of him in the city were wonderful. Here, Jason shows the low-lives of pre-Giuliani Times Square who's the big guy 'round town. We also learn he hates rap music.
9. Ginny's Mommy Psych-Out - Friday the 13th Part 2
Cornered in his lair, our protagonist realizes that this Jason guy might not be so bright. Maybe it's something about the way he dresses or his monosyllabic way of speech, but Ginny figures that taking advantage of the fact that Jason is missing a few cans short of a six-pack might just might get her out of this mess. Donning the corpse's clothing, she calls to Jason, hoping some motherly-love will buy her time. It almost works, too...
8. Jason's Resurrection - Jason Lives
Tommy had the right intentions. He just wanted to make sure the son of a bitch was dead, and exorcise some personal demons. Too bad that conveniently placed weather vane and fortuitously timed lightning strike manages to revive the murderer into a hulking undead monster, in true Frankenstein style.
7. Paintball Attack - Jason Lives
One big bonus for Part 6 is its sense of humor. When you're marathoning these films, by the time you finish Part 5, the same old routine is starting to dig at you. But Part 6 gives you nice second wind to start up the second half of the series with. The paintball scene in particular is a highlight. A group of office-cubicle types go out for a little weekend warrior paintball and run smack dab into Jason himself. The altercation brings us such sights as a triple decapitation, a guy imprints a smiley-face upon a tree by having his face caved in, and an arm somehow attached to Jason's machete which gives even the big man himself a moment to wonder quizzically how the hell that happened.
6. Corn Rave Attack - Freddy vs. Jason
While I tried to keep this list on the core first eight movies, this scene from Freddy vs. Jason just had to be included as it showcases Jason unleashed. After stealing a victim from his fiercest competitor, he flings a glow-sticked freak about three fucking miles into the air before being set ablaze. Does this slow him down? Not at all. Jason leaves a literal trail of destruction through the corn field until coming upon an all-you-can-slash buffet. Flaming flying machete for the win.
5. Acquiring the Mask - Friday the 13th Part 3-D
Other than giving one of the most celebrated slashers his iconic mask, creating an image that will live on forever, this scene also gets rid of Shelley for the rest of the film. Thank Christ.
4. The Machete Slide - The Final Chapter
It's not often when you actually wince at the pain being induced upon a film's villain, but this one just looks fucking painful, especially in uncut form. Corey Feldman makes himself over into Lil' Jason in order to divert the killer's attention before burying a machete into his temple. What follows is a very uncomfortable slide down the business end of said machete. Ow.
3. Alice's Fate - Friday the 13th Part 2
This one gave me quite the shock upon watching it as a child, so much so that I turned it and didn't finish the rest of the movie until years later. After following Alice survive her ordeal throughout the first film, our precocious heroine is offed rather bluntly in the opening few moments. A swift, unceremonious stab through the fucking temple was an abrupt end to one of horror's most remembered Final Girls.
2. The Dance of a Crispin - The Final Chapter
As a life-long obsessive of Crispin Glover, I could watch his infamous herk and jerk spaz dance all day long if I had to. So what if it doesn't have our boy Jason? It's one of the finest moments in cinema history, right alongside Battleship Potemkin.
1. Mama Vorhees Loses Her Head - Friday the 13th
I was fortunate in how I watched these films originally. I had known of Jason and how he figured into the series, but I didn't know how shit went down in the original. I was actually surprised when I found out the killer wasn't Jason but his mother, a pretty nifty that probably gets spoiled too easily today with the internet. As a kid, that final comeuppance really hit home for me as Alice hefted that machete and give the murderous mommy one clean swipe, leaving only a spurting neck-hole and grasping man-hands with hairy knuckles. It felt almost...righteous.