^ I believe that's called irony in my country.
Ma'am, have you not heard? This is a post-ironic country.
Balls deep in it.
Movies About Girls
This week for me it was a 1980 Italian would-be Alien ripoff called "Contamination". On the surface it seems like the perfect package: Slime, a giant octopus monster, creepy glowing eggs that hum tunelessly, and exploding chests full of poster paint and luncheon meat, but somehow it never comes together; Disappointing to say the least. Although I will say the giant octopus monster almost made it worthwhile.
^ You know, someone somewhere is going to go and watch that film, even though you said it sucked, and then be mad at you.
You're right GGG, that description does make it sound a little more awesome than it actually is. I should clarify:
After a strong start, the movie is glacially slow with only a couple of chest explosions and some funky 80's vintage sets and space helmets to ease the tedium. This is an especially big problem after the action moves from New York to Columbia where the remainder of the movie takes place. It slips into travelogue mode with a lot scenes devoted to sitting around, going to cafes, taking cab rides, and watching Colorful Local Festivals when the plot should be kicking into high gear. Interesting developments like a mysterious mission to mars are relegated to flashbacks.
The big octopus monster is really cool, in a cheesy b-movie kind of way, but it only appears in the last five minutes or so of the movie (Which is strange because it looks like it would have cost a lot of money to build) it's also immobile and, neat as it is, it ultimately doesn't get to do much. For the rest of the film we have to settle for the eggs, which dispatch their victims by covering them with goo and causing them to explode. They're a very passive antagonist when you get right down to it. Oh, and there's also no nudity: There's a shower scene, but it looks like it was directed strictly according to 1980 network standards and practices.
The second biggest problem with Contamination is that it can't decide if it's a blood splattered monster movie or a low-rent Andromeda Strain. The biggest problem with it is that it's too incompetent to pull off either job in an entertaining way.
Last edited by bikini general contractor; 04-25-2010 at 05:29 PM. Reason: syntax
I've been watching some women in prison flicks this week. The classic Bare Behind Bars (1980) , Brigitte Lahaie and friends in the gloriously silly Gefangene Frauen (1980), and the ropey Women Behind Bars (1975) - not a great film, but I got it because I adore Lina Romay.
It's not easy being a gnome.
Are you my uber-friend from email?
Oh, and I watched a couple of films last night:
Taboo: American Style Part 3 Towards the end of this, I literally squirmed around on the floor wailing that I wanted more than four parts. I feel like I'm reading a great book and want to turn the pages slowly so it lasts longer. Sigh. Yes, it really is that good. Part 4 will hopefully come in the mail today. Oh, and you will never get that theme song out of your head. "Our love is higher than the sky, and you are the reason why..."
I also watched Delicious (1981) starring Veronica Hart (GGG's favourite female porn star ever), which was kinda like a scary Mary Poppins - she comes in there as a maid to a rich family, and promptly takes over using a combination of magical powers and sex. Cue lots of special effects, like disappearing and reappearing, or going from clothed to unclothed in the blink of an eye. Oh, and she also conjures erections before your very eyes (complete with sound effect) which is quite a sight when it's Ron Jeremy's schlong. It was pretty boss. She showed them a thing or too, and it even had a sappy ending. Awwww.
I watched Balls of Fury again which only proves Christopher Walkens comedic genius in a rather eh type movie, except for when the dude plays Def Leppard on his ping pong paddle was awesome.
And Michael with John T. was funnier than I thought it was going to be.
My only knowledge of women's prisons comes from film and television fiction. I suspect the reality is more Within These Walls, the seminal British WiP television series starring Googie Withers, than Brigitte Lahaie and her cohorts' naked capers.
Another to add to the list is the gloriously awful Reform School Girls starring Wendy O. Williams.
It's not easy being a gnome.